Cantatech Online Classics Course

Who wants to be a millionaire?


‘Hello, I’m Chris Tarrant and welcome to ‘Who Wants To be A Millionaire?’

‘We have Odysseus with us in the studio today, hello Odysseus tell us a bit about yourself’

‘Hi Chris, I’m king Odysseus of Ithaca. I was in the Trojan War, alongside Agamemnon and Diomedes, and designed the Wooden Horse we used to get inside the walls of Troy. I share a personal relationship with the goddess Athene.

I’m married to my lovely wife Penelope, and we have a son together: Telemachus.

I enjoy being at home, glory and stabbing Cyclopes in the eye’ replies Odysseus.

‘Wow, king did you say? We’ve not had a king in the studio before, blimey.

What are you planning to do with the money?’ Chris Tarrant asks.

‘Well you see Chris, I’ve been away from my wife, my son and my beloved home for many years now; the gods wish not for me to return home to see the land I hold so dear in my heart’ Odysseus begins, ‘If I win the money, I’m going to use it to get home so I can see my family again, maybe get a car along the way’.

‘Alright then, we need to get Odysseus in the money so he can get home to see his family again. You’ve got 3 lifelines, 50/50, phone a friend and ask the audience.

Let’s play ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!’ Chris Tarrant exclaims.

(Music begins)

‘For 100 pounds-

In Greek mythology, who is the supreme god of Mt. Olympus?

Is it A, Poseidon? B, George Bush? C, Zeus? Or D Queen Elizabeth II?’ Chris Tarrant queries.

‘Lock in C Chris’ replies Odysseus.

‘You’ve got 100 pounds!’ states Chris. (Audience applauds)

‘Question two, for 200 pounds-

Which famous poet wrote the epic poems the Odyssey and the Iliad?

Was it A, Homer? Was it b, Bart? Was it C, Stephen King? Or D, Shakespeare?

‘Lock in A, Homer please’ says Odysseus.

‘Sure it wasn’t Shakespeare?’ Chris Tarrant asks.

‘Lock in A Chris’ Odysseus finalises.

‘You’ve won 200 pounds!’ says Chris Tarrant. (Audience applauds)

‘For 400 pounds-

Which of the following was not a Greek hero?

A, Achilles? B, Adolf Hitler? C, Alexander the Great? Or D, Hercules?’

Odysseus ponders for a moment.

‘Achilles is I know that. I’ve not heard of Adolf Hitler before, nor this Alexander the Great. Ummmm’

Which of the following was not a Greek hero?

You’ve got 3 lifelines’ Chris Tarrant assures.

‘I’m going to have to have to go 50/50 Chris” Odysseus says.

‘Alright then, we need Odysseus to get this right to get 400 pounds to return home. Computer, take away two wrong answers, leaving Odysseus with the right answer and one random answer!’ Chris Tarrant briskly says.

(bleep bleep-Computer takes away two wrong answers. Odysseus is left with B, Adolf Hitler and C, Alexander the Great)

‘In Zeus’ name…’ Odysseus begins.

‘That really didn’t help a lot did it?’ Chris Tarrant enquires.

‘Not at all’ Odysseus grimly replies.

‘Adolf Hitler or Alexander the Great? Which of these was not a Greek hero?’ Chris Tarrant asks lowly.

(BOOOEOEOEOLKSBNFJSBFDNDOWBRLWBDSKNBLJSBLABDIWSB!!!!! Sounds the buzzer)

‘Oh no, that’s all we’ve got time for I’m afraid’ Chris Tarrant regretfully announces.

‘Well, it’s been great having you; you’ve won 200 pounds’. (audience applauds and Chris shakes Odysseus’ hand)

‘Thanks Chris’ Odysseus says in return.

‘But it’s not all bad, we’ll see you again tomorrow night to play for 1,000,000 pounds.

Until then, ive been your host Chris Tarrant and we’ll see you next time on ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire! Goodbye!’ Chris Tarrant farewells.

(Waves, audience applauds, bunch of credits go up the screen, music plays, the end)

By Anthrax

telemachus’ diary (what a girl)


oh what a day! all those suitors do is sit and eat, and drink and eat, and sleep and eat, eat and eat! it’s driving me insane! oh how i wish my noble father would come home and rid this house of their presence, but alas he has fallen and gone to hade’s halls and will never cross the thresshold of his own house once again. enough of my childlike meanderings, i’m a man! but a strange thing happend today, as i sat helplessly with the suitors as they ate my oxen and sheep i caught site of a stranger standing at the gate, he was armed only with a bronze spear, which i took from him to store away as i led him to an ordanate chair with a linen cloth spread over so he might be comfortable as he sat and ate his meal, and when he had satisfied his hunger and thirst i questioned him on the werabouts or final resting place of my father odysseus. he told me his name was mentes and that he was bound for the port of temesa to trade iron for bronze but then he told me the most extraordaniry thing, he told me that my father was alive.

Be afraid, be very afraid… :O


Catching site of the darkened figure looming about the gate, Telemachus set off at once to allow this stranger into his home.

Shame worn upon his face, Telemachus beckoned in the mysterious, spear bearing man and greeted him according to custom, but though  his face and words spoke of shame, it was an uneasiness that began to ferment within Telemachus.

He offered his guest a beautifully carved chair, which was accepted, and went on to take from the guest his spear, heart quickening, though always being sure to never seem distrusting to the Darkened One.

Away from the Suitors sat Telemachus and his menacing visitor, for Telemachus wished not to offend a guest in his home, unaware of the reaction the Darkened One may give: as such a man couldnt possibly respond kindly if offended by the mindless babble of Suitors.

The maids proceeded with their work, setting meats, breads and wine before the guest, and the Suitors also proceeded with their ways; to eat their fill of food and drink before resorting to music and dance. The music, however pleasant, however relaxing, however loud, could not drown away the gaze of the Darkened One, that gaze set upon Telemachus, whose body and spirit were caving beneath the weight of such eyes…
“How, ah, easy it is for such men to dance,” started youthful Telemachus, “When they live off the life of another…”. Telemachus was silent, fearful of the Darkened One, whos unearthly being seemed to feast on Telemachus’ fear and anxiety.

‘My guest must be displeased’ thought Telemachus, as a sinister grin spread across theDarkened Ones face…

telemachus and the suitors


the suitors burst up and started shouting and saying they wanted to bang penelope, but brave telemachus told them all to shut up and said “for those of you who date my mum, you sure are acting like a bunch of dumb ass’s ok. yea you can eat your food and drink your grogg but shut up and do it quietly because i like this song, oh yea and in the morning i’m calling an assembaly so get some sleep because i’m dam sick and tired of all you greedy suitors comming in and making a fuss, eating all the dam food and wine so you can go and get the hades out ok, go eat your food in someone elses house cause if you don’t i pray that zeus makes restitution for me by destroying you, your house and your dog,” all the suitors were bewildered by this sudden shift in tone and it was a long time before they spoke until Antinous, eupeithes’ son spat back ‘hay you, you can’t talk to me like that, who taught you to speak like that, aye, the god’s? as you are Odysseues’ son you inherit this place, but dam me if you become it’s king” “antionus” said telemachus “it may disapoint you to learn that i would gladly accept the roll of king from zeus, are you saying that thats the worse thing that could happen to me, to more power and athority, it’s not bad to be king, it just that the archeans are simply rank with princes, the’re everywhere like a swarm! but i will succed him as i am master of this house” this time Eurymachus answered telemachus “the gods decide who is to be our king, keep your belongings and be master of this house by all means, i an’t gona stop you, but what of your guest, who is it and where did they come from?” telemachus replied “he was mentes, son of Anchialus and cheiftain of the sea-fairing taphians,”  

Week One, Lesson Four: Read


Spend some time reading through books 1-5.  Book 5 is the next big one for us, so you need to read that for next week.

ummmm Lucys bit


 The tale of gracious Pallas Athene’s disasters cast on the Achaean’s return from Troy was soothing to the over-stuffed suitors and they lay in silence listening. The troublesome words reached the ears of Penelope, who flew down from her quarters in a flurry of rage and despair as the tale of her lost husband was too much for her to bear. She broke the silence with her senseless weeping, and instructed their famous bard to leave their present story where it now lies, broken by her interruption. Her pain was too much for one to witness with dignity, as she exploited the silence with her ramblings about her great loss.

Telemachus stepped up and wrenched his weeping mother from her attack on the song. He spoke to her not as a child, but a man. “Shall we not blame our loyal bard for his choice of song, for it is Zeus who has, is and forever will decide the fate of man. Phemius is here to entertain, as the poets of Greece set out to do.  Forget your sorrows and remember the great Odysseus was not the only man to never return, and the many wives who lost their husbands also no longer grieve for his return.

Now your loom and spindle are calling for your touch and your quarters feel strangely cold without your presence. Leave me to the decisions as I am the master of this household and my guidance is needed.

Week One, Lesson Three: Testing Times


How about a practice test just for fun?  I have attached a test below.  It is open book, but see how much you can remember.  Send me your answers, fax or email.

Odyssey Practice Test

Week One / Lesson Two: Rewriting Book One


Each of you is going to get allocated an important scene from book one to rewrite in a theme of your choice.  The rewrite is to be published on this blog as a post.  It will be two to three paragraphs long, so you will need to edit the scene to fit.

  • Corey rewrite Telemachus’ first meeting with Athene, disguised as Mentes (page 6 line 113 – page 7 line 168)
  • Lucy rewrite Penelope and Telemachus (page 11 line 326 – page 12 line 364)
  • Sam rewrite Telemachus and the Suitors (page 12 line 365- page 13 line 420)
  • Keila rewrite Athene and Zeus (page 4 line 34 – page 5 line 96)

The themes you can use to base the rewrite on are: Horror, Mills and Boon Romance, Lord of the Rings, Science Fiction, Comedy, Soap Opera.  Choose ONE.

Make sure you stay true to the intent of the scene.  Don’t drastically change the story.  Just play around with dialogue and description.

Have fun! (due up on the blog ASAP)

Term Two / Week One – Lesson One: Book One Review


OrestesNow that you have finished book one it is time to review it. There are some key apsects of book one you need to take note of:

  • This is your first look at the theme of hospitality / guest friendship. How did the Greeks show hospitality and why? Where does it appear in this book one?
  • Telemachus is an important character in the first four books of this story (sometimes referred to as the Telemachy). What are your initial impressions of his character? How does Homer portray him?
  • Another recurring theme in the Odyssey is the role of the gods. What are you initial impressions of the gods? How do they interfere in the events of book one and why?

TASK

To answer these questions download the document below and answer the questions. Email or fax your work back to me Monday night. For Sam it will be Tuesday night

Book One Analysis

Yippee I’m A Slave…


No life of luxury for me.

I live to serve, to give the higher class the luxuries in life, spending a majority of my days chopping wood and helping with the crops, the slave life.

Do not slay him, take him back, work him as a slave’ they said when I was captured so long ago, during the war, taken from those in my family who remained alive. My only hope is that my boy will get a better chance, and not live the life of a slave.

But I must accept my place, and my master is fair to me, compared to what other slaves endure from their masters, and his woman seems nice, though I do not speak with her often.

I would tell you of my day to day accounts, but I have not the exhilarating stories like that of a hero, the trees that I hack are not going to glorify me and I will receive no recognition or glory.

Life and freedom it seems have turned their back on me.