CantaClassics

I hate sitting still in this cramp Cenaculum; unfortunately I have little choice in the matter as my mother and father are terrified of a collapse like the one that happened next door it’s just ridiculous the extent of which we have to go through just to see another day! It seems everything is falling down in some way, I mean just last week an Ampthieatre collapsed killing 50 people of course the senators will have lavish burials but for people like me, you just get thrown in a hole and rot. Maybe I should sign up for gladiator school at least then I would have a stable roof over my head and perhaps buy my families way out off poverty, but the way those fights are heading I will be dead from exhaustion just training to be one.

And if collapse isn’t enough to worry about fire is another thing we live in perpetual fear of, the whole place is made of wood and plaster and very flammable and as every room is cramp and close together fire spreads quickly throughout the place, the staircases are far too narrow to escape down. A positive would be the spacious court yard this place has. Though we share it with all the other tenants it is a great place of reflection and to socialise with others, even if it isn’t as quiet as the fancy villas or domus like the richer people have but then again life in this city isn’t that quiet anyway.

Another thing, like all Insulae, this place is surrounded by streets on all sides so the racket the street merchants make is horrendous, but no one cares when you’re poor anyway, it doesn’t help that the walls are papyrus thin so there’s no privacy as well. But I guess it’s the best we’ve got and we’re not too far from the shops as they’re all on the ground floor but we still go hungry anyway so who cares.

Epithets used to describe Calypso:

· Powerful

· Goddess of the flashing eyes

· The nymph with the plaited tresses

· Divine

· Gracious

Calypso is fairly vain, beautiful, and proud. This daughter of Atlas rescued the wise Odysseus from the brink of death as he drifted alone in the seas. Each night she sleeps with Odysseus and offers him the chance to marry her and become immortal. She cannot understand why he would chose his mortal wife Penelope, who’s looks are inferior to hers, and has not been blessed by immortality and eternal youth. She does not want to let Odysseus leave her, but her fear for Zeus is greater than her will to keep Odysseus. She is very cheerful and happy, skilled on the loom and carefree. She is jealous of Odysseus’ love for Penelope. She has a beautiful singing voice, and she is merrily singing and weaving when Hermes arrives to deliver the news of Odysseus’ return to Ithaca. She is wary of the hospitality required by the gods and when Hermes visits she pulls him a polished chair, greets him with “you are an honoured and welcome guest”, and offers him ambrosia and pours him a cup of red nectar. She is convinced that the gods are removing Odysseus through jealousy, and she fights back against Zeus’ decision, although she knows that she cannot possibly sway him. She launches a verbal attack on the gods, talking about how they rejected “rosy fingered dawn when she fell in love with (mortal) Orion”, and they snubbed Demeter when she fell in love with Iasion. Calypso is also described as being a “cold lover, ardent lady” when in bed with Odysseus. Her willpower is great, and she fights for Odysseus for the entirety of her life with him. Even as he prepares to leave she tries to convince him that Penelope is not the one, and that if he was to stay with her he would have a pleasant immortal life

By Lucy

‘Hello, I’m Chris Tarrant and welcome to ‘Who Wants To be A Millionaire?’

‘We have Odysseus with us in the studio today, hello Odysseus tell us a bit about yourself’

‘Hi Chris, I’m king Odysseus of Ithaca. I was in the Trojan War, alongside Agamemnon and Diomedes, and designed the Wooden Horse we used to get inside the walls of Troy. I share a personal relationship with the goddess Athene.

I’m married to my lovely wife Penelope, and we have a son together: Telemachus.

I enjoy being at home, glory and stabbing Cyclopes in the eye’ replies Odysseus.

‘Wow, king did you say? We’ve not had a king in the studio before, blimey.

What are you planning to do with the money?’ Chris Tarrant asks.

‘Well you see Chris, I’ve been away from my wife, my son and my beloved home for many years now; the gods wish not for me to return home to see the land I hold so dear in my heart’ Odysseus begins, ‘If I win the money, I’m going to use it to get home so I can see my family again, maybe get a car along the way’.

‘Alright then, we need to get Odysseus in the money so he can get home to see his family again. You’ve got 3 lifelines, 50/50, phone a friend and ask the audience.

Let’s play ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire!’ Chris Tarrant exclaims.

(Music begins)

‘For 100 pounds-

In Greek mythology, who is the supreme god of Mt. Olympus?

Is it A, Poseidon? B, George Bush? C, Zeus? Or D Queen Elizabeth II?’ Chris Tarrant queries.

‘Lock in C Chris’ replies Odysseus.

‘You’ve got 100 pounds!’ states Chris. (Audience applauds)

‘Question two, for 200 pounds-

Which famous poet wrote the epic poems the Odyssey and the Iliad?

Was it A, Homer? Was it b, Bart? Was it C, Stephen King? Or D, Shakespeare?

‘Lock in A, Homer please’ says Odysseus.

‘Sure it wasn’t Shakespeare?’ Chris Tarrant asks.

‘Lock in A Chris’ Odysseus finalises.

‘You’ve won 200 pounds!’ says Chris Tarrant. (Audience applauds)

‘For 400 pounds-

Which of the following was not a Greek hero?

A, Achilles? B, Adolf Hitler? C, Alexander the Great? Or D, Hercules?’

Odysseus ponders for a moment.

‘Achilles is I know that. I’ve not heard of Adolf Hitler before, nor this Alexander the Great. Ummmm’

Which of the following was not a Greek hero?

You’ve got 3 lifelines’ Chris Tarrant assures.

‘I’m going to have to have to go 50/50 Chris” Odysseus says.

‘Alright then, we need Odysseus to get this right to get 400 pounds to return home. Computer, take away two wrong answers, leaving Odysseus with the right answer and one random answer!’ Chris Tarrant briskly says.

(bleep bleep-Computer takes away two wrong answers. Odysseus is left with B, Adolf Hitler and C, Alexander the Great)

‘In Zeus’ name…’ Odysseus begins.

‘That really didn’t help a lot did it?’ Chris Tarrant enquires.

‘Not at all’ Odysseus grimly replies.

‘Adolf Hitler or Alexander the Great? Which of these was not a Greek hero?’ Chris Tarrant asks lowly.

(BOOOEOEOEOLKSBNFJSBFDNDOWBRLWBDSKNBLJSBLABDIWSB!!!!! Sounds the buzzer)

‘Oh no, that’s all we’ve got time for I’m afraid’ Chris Tarrant regretfully announces.

‘Well, it’s been great having you; you’ve won 200 pounds’. (audience applauds and Chris shakes Odysseus’ hand)

‘Thanks Chris’ Odysseus says in return.

‘But it’s not all bad, we’ll see you again tomorrow night to play for 1,000,000 pounds.

Until then, ive been your host Chris Tarrant and we’ll see you next time on ‘Who Wants to Be a Millionaire! Goodbye!’ Chris Tarrant farewells.

(Waves, audience applauds, bunch of credits go up the screen, music plays, the end)

By Anthrax

the suitors burst up and started shouting and saying they wanted to bang penelope, but brave telemachus told them all to shut up and said “for those of you who date my mum, you sure are acting like a bunch of dumb ass’s ok. yea you can eat your food and drink your grogg but shut up and do it quietly because i like this song, oh yea and in the morning i’m calling an assembaly so get some sleep because i’m dam sick and tired of all you greedy suitors comming in and making a fuss, eating all the dam food and wine so you can go and get the hades out ok, go eat your food in someone elses house cause if you don’t i pray that zeus makes restitution for me by destroying you, your house and your dog,” all the suitors were bewildered by this sudden shift in tone and it was a long time before they spoke until Antinous, eupeithes’ son spat back ‘hay you, you can’t talk to me like that, who taught you to speak like that, aye, the god’s? as you are Odysseues’ son you inherit this place, but dam me if you become it’s king” “antionus” said telemachus “it may disapoint you to learn that i would gladly accept the roll of king from zeus, are you saying that thats the worse thing that could happen to me, to more power and athority, it’s not bad to be king, it just that the archeans are simply rank with princes, the’re everywhere like a swarm! but i will succed him as i am master of this house” this time Eurymachus answered telemachus “the gods decide who is to be our king, keep your belongings and be master of this house by all means, i an’t gona stop you, but what of your guest, who is it and where did they come from?” telemachus replied “he was mentes, son of Anchialus and cheiftain of the sea-fairing taphians,”  

Students are completing an assessment which is due next week so nothing to put up until then

hi im herakules, but you know me hercules (thanks to the romans i’m told).

my life is simple, i was born a son of zeus who tricked my mother into thinking that he was her husband Amphitryon who had come home early from war. he the made her pregnant with me, unfortuntely for me the real amphitryon came home just after my father left and made her pregnant with my brother, Iphicle. i have learned that before i was born that jelous pig hera tricked zeus into making a promise that the first born woulod be king of the land so she stoped me from being born! insted my brother became the king and i became a lowly catle famer. eventualy these two nymphs came along you see and they said that i could eather choose a life of ease and splendor, or i could choose a life that was serve and glorious. obiovisly i chose the latter, ha no one remembers Iphicle now! hera wasn’t do with me yet, oh no she made me go made and kill the ones i love in a rage which led me to prform the 12 labors, it was suposted to be only 10 but Iphicle wouldn’t beleive me about the thing with the agean stables or the hydra. anyway the were to,

1. To kill the Nemean Lion.
2. To destroy the Lernaean Hydra.
3. To capture the Ceryneian Hind.
4. To capture the Erymanthian Boar.
5. To clean the Augean Stables.
6. To kill the Stymphalian Birds.
7. To capture the Cretan Bull.
8. To round up the Mares of Diomedes.
9. To steal the Girdle of Hippolyte.
10. To herd the Cattle of Geryon.
11. To fetch the Apples of Hesperides.
12. To capture Cerberus.

fun aye, anyway i gotta run. history dosn’t make it’s heros up now.

Ares

Ares is the god who thrives on violence and battle, not thinking of the consequences, but only of spilt blood. This is the god of war.

Ares has a certain, ‘eerie’ feel to him. While he comes across as handsome and bold, there is an atmosphere of cruelty and malice that surrounds Ares, which is probably why he is the most loathed among the gods. It is said that even Zeus, his own father, dislikes Ares.

Through all the dislike, Ares still reproduced, and is father to Diomedes, Cycnus and Oenomaus.

Ares employs no thought before action, as he is pure testosterone. He lives for the moment, for battle and for death.

When you hear all of this about Ares, you would picture a great warrior who knows no fear, but this is not the case, as Ares has often been seen to flee a battle like a coward, specifically during the Trojan War when Diomedes stabbed him with a spear.

Ares holds the vulture as his sacred animal, as the vulture represents death.

Overall, Ares was not a great god in Greek mythology, but his equivalent in Roman mythology, Mars, earned much more respect.

Here is Corey’s first go at creating a movie.  This one is about Eurynome.